Life Isn't Over; He didn't ask to be here!

Life Isn’t Over; He didn’t ask to be Here!

Narrative By LaTasha M. Brown

There are many television shows that expose the life of teenage parents. Such as ‘Teen

Mom’ on MTV. However there is another side to the reality of being a teenage mother. This is

the narrative of a fifth-teen year old teenage mother and her struggle. In order to protect her and

her rights as a minor I did not include her son’s real name or her last name with-in this narrative.

One, three, two, three, Jr. Jr counted. We play hide and seek when I have to do my

homework. It always seem to keep him busy and he always hide in the same spot said his fifth-

teen year old mother Cynthia. A single mother and current student at McCluer High School in

Florissant Missouri. Sometimes it is really hard getting up in the morning. Jr.Jr does not like

going to sleep at night, but I have to do what I have to do. He did not ask to be here said Cynthia

as she smiled at her son.

Cynthia sat in complete silence when asked about the father of her child. No reaction

nothing but a blank stare. I really do not want to talk about him. He is in jail and he has only

seen pictures of Jr.Jr. I feel like he left me out here alone. So many broken promises but never

any crushed dreams. Continuing to work hard in her studies thinking about all of the obstacles

that she will face over time she said I can do this God would have not given me something that I

cannot handle. I just do not believe he would do that.

As we walked the halls of McClure high school she expressed that her son is all that she

has. My mother will not talk to me and has not spoken to me since the day she found out I was

having a baby. She has not even met her own grandson. Maybe I was meant to be alone. Cynthia

was put out of her mother’s home when her mother found out that she was going to be a teenage

mother. I tried to hide the changes of my body as long as I could. I thought that she would

understand. She had me when she was only fourth-teen.

Now living with her son’s grandmother she feels trapped. There is no freedom, I have

only a few friends and they have kids too, and I do not have any free time. That is okay with me

because Jr. Jr never asked to be in this world. So many of my friends think there is no life after a

baby. The truth is that life is only what you make. I know that my son came about because of my

own actions during my free time, so why take it out on him?

I know some people who do take it out on their children. They get mad because they

cannot go places with their friends. I do think about going to the movies or going skating, but

with Jr.Jr I do not have any free time. Reaching towards the table Cynthia said free time is

something that only comes in my daydreams. No, no please do not climb on the table son, you

might hurt yourself.

 Cynthia helps take care of Jr. Jr’s disabled uncle on the weekends and this is how she

covers the rent of fifty dollars a week. I only get a check for two-hundred and thirty four dollars

a month for my son. I also get food stamps but that is not enough for me and him she said as she

shook her head in disbelief. Learning how to budget and not go get the things that I wanted was a

hard thing to do at first; but I learned how to do it. A pair of new Air Jordan’s and an outfit to go

with them. Laughing aimlessly at her own personals thoughts she shook her head and said only

Jr.Jr’s tiny hand waved goodbye as he yelled goodbye to his friends at the child care

center at McClure high school. This child care center is part of the reason I did not quit school.

I knew that it would be someone there to watch him while I am in school. There are so many

programs now of days for young mothers. I have no reason not to chase my dreams and to meet

my goals. I just have to learn to balance family life with college, a career and my son. Reaching

for the sky Cynthia said “I know he is watching over us and things are going to work out just

fine. Yes we will be just fine, just wait and see Jr.Jr.

Positive about the future Cynthia understands that she has an uphill battle to fight.

Carrying the torch of motherhood is hard for any woman; however Cynthia is not willing to give

up on herself, Jr. Jr, or becoming a teacher for children who are disabled death, or blind. While

looking down at her son smiling Cynthia shouted with joy “All children deserve a fair chance to

show what they are made of and that is why Jr. Jr is here. I would not have it any other way.

Jr. Jr was quietly sitting on the floor playing with his toy car while his mother begins to

gather the items needed to fix dinner. As she looked over her shoulder to make sure Jr.Jr was still

in sight she said Jr.Jr is really not much of a problem. He really is quite most of the time. I know

when he is sick or if something is wrong because he gets really grumpy like an old man. That is

why I call him Jr.Jr even though he is not a Jr. He reminds me of my grandfather and we called

There have been many days that I have just said I wasn’t going to go and that I wasn’t

going to doing nothing. Ring, ring went the phone. Excuse me, Cynthia said. Hello. I will have

to see if I can, let me call you back. It is my friends that bring hope. I know that we cannot do

much because of our kids but we can take them to the park or for walks around the block. I

cannot change what has happen in the past. I can only look forward to the future and my future is

Jr.Jr. I want to give him the best life that I can. I will never turn my back on him when times get

hard. She began to cry.

Even though she realizes that it was her own actions that has caused her relationship with

her mother to be torn she is always willing to mend the relationship. I just want to tell her that I

love her that is it as she wiped her tears from her face. I want my son to know his family and I

want help from my own family. We all want things that we cannot have in life I guess. I have

learned that over the last three years being a mother.

I was only twelve when it happened she sighed. It was not peer pressure at all. I wanted

to do it and he made me feel like I was on top of the world. Older, nice looking, and had a little

bit of money that he was willing to spend. All of my friends looked up to me. Shrugging her

shoulders up and down she said for what I do not know. Jr.Jr’s. birthday is December 17th,

and mind is Halloween. As this young mother talks of her child you can see the brightness of the

No one will ever know that she hurts on the inside by looking at her while inter acting

with her son. Waving her hands in grief she said it really hurts at night, not being able to ask my

mother for help or advice about my son. It hurts to know that Jr. Jr will not be able to play ball

with his father until he is eight. Sighing deeply Cynthia paused and said, it may hurt but I have to

stay strong for my son no matter what.

Life after high school is going to be the tricky part Cynthia said. I plan on going to the

community college here in Saint Louis and getting a job so that I can get us our own place to

stay. I think that will be the best thing for me and Jr. Jr. I do not want a relationship with my

baby daddy at all. I just want him to do right by our son. The only relationship that matters to me

right now is the one that I am building with my son. Jr. Jr is what is important to me, nothing else

really matters. Ain’t that right son?