LaTasha's story

                 RE-ENTRY: Criticism and Circumstances

                                  Narrative by LaTasha M. Brown 3/17/14

 “I am a man with pride and at times my pride is what seems to get in my way. Sometimes it seems that pride is all I know, but being in this place has changed that.” says the 32 year-old man. He seems harmless at first sight, sitting at the table wearing a simple gray state issue uniform. Kwaume Buckner has no issues with telling you that he is not a saint and that life has been a rollercoaster of drugs, violence, and a storm of mixed emotion while learning to cope with the cards that life has issued to him over time. Nice opening lines here. You've set the scene with Kwaume, an imperfect character. Now the question is, what is going to happen next?

At the tender age of 14, in the heart of the Westside of Saint St. Louis he was forced to become a man taking care of his younger brother, and his mother. While sitting in the visiting room at Algoa Correctional Center in Jefferson City, Missouri with a clinch fist he said, “I started selling drugs because I had no choice. My mother suffers from Schizophrenia, she had my little brother and I had no choice but to take care of them.  none of the crossed-out quotes needs to be a quote. Just a paraphrase. And it puts new emphasis on this good quote: I didn’t know what else to do to get money so I turned to the streets.”  Dropping out of school and dropping his dreams of playing professional basketball Kwaume took on the real pressure of raising his infant brother and providing for his mother. Brother and mother are still a little flimsy as characters here -- how old brother, his name? And mom, give one quick detail about her to make her come alive "mom, who always baked him cookies when she was up for it."

After the death from what? of his grandmother in the mid-nineties Kwaume would no longer have a stable home for his family. “My grandmother was the glue that held our family together. She loved my momma and never turned her back on her and never left us out in the streets.” He would lean on his connections that he had with different women to help provide for his little brother while hustling dope and toting guns bigger than his small frame. really? Like bazookas? and what kind of drugs? Heroin is different than pot. Standing about 5 foot 6 and only weighing about 145 pounds laughing viscously he said, “Now that I look at it, it was the women in the game that help me become a man. Yeah, my mother taught me how to take care of myself before she became ill, but those women help me survive over time.”

The game is full of lies and deceit. “Your brother becomes your enemy; your father becomes your consumer, he really sold to his dad? and when you look up all you have left is the women. They protect you from the ills of the street as long as you provide a steady flow of cash.” They teach you how to move and listen to all of the elements of the streets and not just your wants and needs. Even though they are the first teachers of this wicked game; they ultimately fall victim to the ills of the game. The trying ills of drug use, physical and mental abuse from the very men that they molded. Becoming nothing more than pillars of broken dreams and false promises. Their reasoning is nothing more than the love they carry for those who control the game. (MEN) Ok, you riff on the importance of women. What kind of women? Girlfriends or moms? And what are you getting at here? Is he blaming the women? They introduced the game. Need to think about what you're saying here. And, where is dad?

Moving from pillow to post for ten years watching his little brother grow into a young man and chasing his mother from the harm of her own hands took a toll on him. However Kwaume was determined to keep his family together at all cost. It seemed as if his plan What was his plan? Sell drugs? How much did he make? How did that keep the family together? He supported his mom and brother? He did this for them, not for himself? was working until his mother could no longer cope. Valire Locuios now lives in a state nursing home because she no longer belongs  to herself or her children. She now has become a ward of the state of Missouri By a Saint Louis City Judge because of her mental health issues. As Kwaume folded his hands and dropped his head he said, “I just do not understand why that help was not offered to us when I was a kid. Now, me and my mother or on state time. If there was help back in the day, maybe all of this would have turned out different. All we had was each other.”

There are many state agencies that help families in need. However none of those agencies stepped in to give aid HE SAYS we have no idea if true. “My mother knew how to apply for food stamps and welfare. I was the only kid who saw his whole welfare check on the first of the month.” What does that mean? No one questioned why he was never in school or why he would be out on the streets in pure darkness. “My sacrifice was my teenage years. I was not given a choice. I had to become a man.”

Expressing the love that he carries for his family seems to cause a slight hint of grief.  Puzzled by what he should say next he sat there in silence for a moment while biting his bottom lip. Deeply breathing in and out before speaking, “I am a victim of the two C’s; Criticism and Circumstances.”  Never making excuses for his actions of the past he explains that there was no one there to tell him no. “I always got what I wanted and that always comes with a price. My life’s circumstances pushed me to the streets. Other’s people’s criticism of my being is what helped me along the way.”

The two C's still apply while in prison for Kwaume. In November of 2013 he received his GED and is currently working on an automotive tech certification. “It felt good to do some work with my hands and learning. Now they say I can do whatever I put my mind too. I am able to take away a lot from this place.” Through prison he was exposed once again to education and would like to continue his education by going to college.

“I would like to own my own shop one day. It shall be called K.D’s Automotive. I can teach all of my sons how to fix on their cars. Hopefully I will not have to go back to the streets now. The streets are all I know and I do not plan on going back to them.” Quotes are a little long. Paraphrase some. Wanting to walk a the straight and narrow Kwaume will still have to face all of the temptation that will arise. Shaking his head clamly he said, “ I have never really thought about the what ifs about tomorrow. If something happens it just happens. I just know that I am planning on doing the right thing. I do not want to see this place again.”

Kwaume’s plans for the future are clear and his main focus is to take care of his children HOW MANY? How is he not repeating the cycle? and to find work when he comes home. “I do not know what to expect of there. The friends that I left on the streets are not what to go back too. My mother is in no position to help me and I do not know where my little brother is now, and all of the women were only there because of the money and at the end of the day they enjoyed the fruits of my labor and gave no support during this time. So I know that when I step out of these iron gates; I will be alone.” At that time the two’s C’s will then again change in his life.

Kwaume is schedule to be released from Algoa Correctional Center in Jefferson City Missouri in April 2014. He is currently serving five years for illegeal possession of a fire arm. Even though he did not commit murder or assault Kwaume is still considered as a violent offender in the state of Missouri. Not sure about ending.